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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
ella_bennett's InsaneJournal:
| Thursday, December 30th, 2010 | |
| 10:14 pm | Happy Frickin Holidays Can I please go just one week without a sick child? Pretty please, with a cherry on top? And extra sprinkles? Life here at the Bennett-Davis household has been lots of fun these last few months. I swear, at least one of the twins has been sick nearly every single week since about the middle of October. Josh and I thought it would be good to send them to daycare a few days a week, so that they could start socializing with other children and he and I could get a little alone time, but that hasn't worked out so well. It started with Joey coming home from daycare with a monster of a cold that lasted a solid ten days. Of course, Lily woke up with the same cold on day eleven. That led to a double ear infection, and we spent four hours sitting in Urgent Care on Halloween waiting for a prescription for antibiotics. I think that was one of the worst days I've had so far as a mother, it is just so horrible to see your child in pain and not be able to do much to help. My little Lily, she's a tough cookie. I've seen her take a few tumbles that would have any other tot bawling, but she just pops back up and keeps on trucking. But with the double ear infection, I think she cried for 24 hours straight. She wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink, wouldn't lay down for a nap. All she wanted was for Mommy or Daddy to hold her constantly. She was back to normal after a few days on antibiotics, and I think we went a full nine days without a problem. Then it really got interesting. Josh was bathing the twins while I was cleaning up after dinner one evening, and suddenly he called me into the bathroom to check out the "mosquito bites" on Joey's belly. Mosquitos in November? Of course not. Chicken pox, a week before the twins were due for the varicella vaccination. I was glad that they both came down with rather mild cases of it, but it meant that my entire family opted not to fly out here for Thanksgiving because one of my sisters has a six-month old baby who has not yet been vaccinated. And of course all three of my sisters called to lecture me about being behind on the twins' vaccinations, but we'd postponed the last round because Joey was going to be having surgery for his cochlear implant and we didn't want to take the chance of him getting sick from the vaccinations. Shortly after the outbreak of chicken pox, all four of us came down with a dreadful stomach bug. It was a week before anyone in our house ate anything other than dry toast and ginger ale. After that, I scrubbed the house top to bottom with Clorox and Lysol, and Josh and I made the decision not to send the twins back to daycare for a while. Now we're looking for an in-home sitter, but it is hard to find someone who is willing to take on 21-month-old twins, especially when one of them has special needs. Joey has been receiving intensive therapy to "learn" how to hear and speak and he is doing well, but he still relies a lot on sign language to communicate right now. So far, we haven't found a sitter who is ready to deal with that. Somehow, we managed to get through Christmas without any further illnesses. The twins still don't really understand the concept of Christmas, but they sure do love opening presents! My family was still afraid of the germs so they didn't come to visit, but Josh's mom came to stay for a few days, as did his sister and her partner. We had a lovely time, and now I'm praying for a healthier 2011. I hope everyone else had a wonderful holiday season. Josh and I will probably ring in the New Year on the couch (and maybe try to squeeze in another attempt at baby making, if we're not too tired!), but I'm sure the rest of you will celebrate enough for us! Happy New Year, and good luck to everyone who is heading to Nationals in the coming weeks! Current Mood:  grumpy |
| Thursday, June 10th, 2010 | |
| 9:27 pm | So this is what it feels like to have a normal life. Or something close to it. I have to say, adapting to my new, non-skating life has been a whole lot easier than I thought it would be. Of course, it has only been about a week since the Stars on Ice tour ended, so we'll see how it feels come October when everyone else is heading out for Grand Prix competitions. But right now it just feels so nice to be home with Josh and the twins and Elvis, not running around to on-ice lessons, off-ice training, costume fittings, music editings, etc. And I love being able to eat without worrying about if my costume is still going to fit or if Drew will still be able to lift me or if the judges are going to tell me I look like a cow. I ate ice cream twice today. I can't remember the last time I ate ice cream twice in the same MONTH! Yeah, I can get used to this whole non-competitive lifestyle. It is so wonderful to be home with Josh and the babies again. They came along with me for part of the tour, and the twins even celebrated their first birthday in May with the cast and crew of SOI! We had a huge cake, and Lilijana and Josef did their best to make a huge mess of it. I just can't believe how much they have grown and changed since the day we brought them home from the orphanage. Lily is walking already, and Joey is almost there. He can stand up on his own, but he topples over before he can take that first step! Next month, we'll be taking Joey to have cochlear implants put in. I'm a little nervous, but the doctor says it is a relatively easy and safe surgery. Joey will probably need several months of therapy before he can really make sense of what he'll be hearing and to learn how to speak, but we are hopeful that eventually he will be able to hear and talk like any other child. Not that his sister doesn't "talk" enough for the both of them. She is a real chatterbox, always cooing and babbling. She already says mama, dada, bye-bye, doggy, and nana(banana) as well as a few other semi-recognizable words. Hopefully Joey will catch up quickly, but Josh and I have just recently started learning sign language along with him so at least he has some way to communicate with us. OK, well, I think that it is time to get off to bed. My dad is coming to visit for a few weeks, and I have a LOT of house cleaning to do tomorrow morning before I pick him up at the airport! Between the dogs and the kids and the fact that I'm kind of a slob anyway, it looks like a tornado hit right here in my living room. And the kitchen isn't much better. Current Mood:  relaxed |
| Monday, March 1st, 2010 | |
| 8:17 pm | Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens... What can I say right now? There really are no words to completely describe what I'm feeling right now, but I'm going to give it a shot, anyway. For starters... HOLY SHIT!!! Drew and I took home gold in what was probably one of the closest competitions in ice dance history. It still seems unreal to me that for the rest of our lives, Drew and I will be announced as "Olympic Gold Medalists Ella Bennet and Drew Lancaster," every time that we step out onto the ice. Standing on the podium, feeling the weight of the medal around my neck, Drew squeezing my hand, hearing the National Anthem, seeing Josh in the audience with my dad and the twins and my sisters and their families and Drew's family, all waving flags and signs, Amanda at the boards crying like a baby... It all seemed so surreal at the time. The excitement, the pride, the feeling of satisfaction at a job well done, tempered my the sadness that my mother, the one person who kept me skating year after year, even when I didn't think I'd make it, wasn't there to join in the celebration. The next few days were just insane. Drew and I did so many press conferences and interviews, at times I forgot who exactly I was speaking to! Still, Josh and I found a little time to watch some other events. Then there were the parties. Team USA knows how to party like no one else! And naturally, the PDT kicked ass. My liver still hasn't forgiven me... Then there was the Gala, and then the Closing Ceremony, and then there was nothing but bags to pack and a plane to catch. As much as I miss the excitement of the Games, it does feel wonderful to be home. Drew and I had one final conversation about our competive career. It was such a high to skate three perfect programs, we couldn't help but wonder if we don't still have a few good years left. Ultimately, though, we agreed that it is time to retire, to pass the torch to the next generation of ice dancers *cough*RachelandDerek*cough*. I know you guys are gonna make us proud. Kick ass at Worlds, okay? Meanwhile, Drew and I will be heading out with Stars on Ice, and I'm really excited about that. We've done guest appearances with SOI before, but to be a full cast member, skating the entire tour, is just incredible. I can't wait. I guess the only thing left to say now is thank you. To my parents for always believing in me, and for always finding the money for that new pair of skates, and for ride after ride to the rink at 5 in the morning... the list just goes on. To Amanda for taking an ordinary girl and so very patiently shaping her into an Olympian... and for not killing me back in my "difficult" years. Most coaches probably would have given up. To Josh, for... everything. The love, the support, the incredible programs. I couldn't have done it without you. To my beautiful babies, Lilijana and Josef, for giving me fresh motivation and a new perspective on life. To my awesome Pavilion friends, my "other" family, for pushing me and encouraging me and just being there day in and day out. You guys are amazing. And, of course, to Drew. Without you, I'd never be the person that I am today, I'd never be the skater that I am today, and I know I'd never be an Olympic Champion. Thank you. I love you all! Current Mood:  indescribable |
| Wednesday, January 20th, 2010 | |
| 9:11 pm | Nationals! Wow, okay, so here we are in Spokane. It feels so weird, knowing that this is my last time competing at Nationals. I'm getting a little teary and nostalgic just thinking about it... Okay, I'm over it. Drew and I got here late on Monday, and hit the ice yesterday for our first practice. We're feeling pretty good right now. After winning both of our GP events, we had to sit out of GPF because I had a bad case of bronchitis and had been advised to stay home and get some rest. Naturally, that led to a lot of talk about how Drew and I were scared of the competition, we knew we couldn't win, it was just a made-up illness, etc. Whatever. We did what we had to do, and I'm glad that I gave myself some time to recover. Nationals, Olympics, and Worlds are so much more important than GPF. Not that is isn't nice to make it to GPF and to win it, but we've done that before. We've been competing for a loooooong time, and we didn't really need the extra competition. Rant over. I don't really like this two-weekend Nationals. Not that I don't like seeing novice dance and all, but I'd rather see the senior men and pairs events. At least we'll be around for the ladies event. Go Sammie! Go Hannah! Okay, well, I think its time for me to get to bed. I am pretty old, you know. Current Mood:  nostalgic |
| Thursday, November 12th, 2009 | |
| 11:31 pm | Lake Placid, Baby! Josh and I and the twins arrived in Lake Placid late last night, and its been a very emotional 24 hours. As much as I love Downer's Grove, Lake Placid will always be home to me, so its great to be back here for a week. My father and sisters and their families got to meet the twins for the first time, which was exciting, but it also really hit me that Mom wasn't there, and I admit I got a little emotional. Or maybe a lot emotional. Sorry about that, Josh. Still, seeing Lily and Joey with their granddad and all their big cousins was a lot of fun. We hit the rink today for our first official practice. That was a little hard, too, because my mom was such a huge part of my skating life. I can't tell you how many hours she spent in this arena, bundled up in the stands watching practice after practice after practice. It is almost unsettling to be skating here and not have her here to watch. But practice went well, and Drew and I feel pretty confident. Well, it sounds like someone wants a bottle, and then it is bedtime for the Davis family. Good luck to everyone who is competing here this weekend! Current Mood:  okay |
| Saturday, October 31st, 2009 | |
| 11:03 pm | CoC It finally feels like the season has started! Drew and I debuted our new programs at Cup of China this weekend, and I am happy to report that we are bringing home gold. We had three pretty solid performances and got some really good feedback from both the judges and the fans. Amanda has a list of little things here and there that she wants to tweak before Skate America, but there won't be any major changes. Its been a fun few days, between skating well and just cheering on the rest of Team USA, but I'll be glad to get home. I miss my two little lovies. And my big hunk of a hubby. And Elvis. I'm glad we'll all be heading to Skate America together, its just no fun being away from all of them. I am a little bummed that I wasn't home to dress the babies up in costumes and parade them around for all my friends to see. But I suppose there will be plenty of time for that. Hope everyone else is having a wonderful Halloween! Current Mood:  accomplished |
| Thursday, October 1st, 2009 | |
| 12:04 am | one very tired mama Whoa. What a whirlwind the last month has been, and a bittersweet one at that. Lost my mother, but then brought home two very beautiful little babies. To say that Josh and I have been busy would be an understatement! I don't understand how two little five-month-olds can create so much dirty laundry! And I am constantly astounded by the number of bottles we go through in one day. It seems like at least one of them is being fed at all times! But it is all such a small price to pay for the smile those two litle ones put on my face. Josef is really just the most easy going baby I've ever seen. He's my little snuggler. So relaxed and easy going, and content to just cuddle up with Josh or I. Liliana, she is the firecracker! She doesn't want to sit still, ever! And when she wants something, she wants it NOW! I think she will grow up to be very independent and strong-willed. I don't think we could have gotten two more different children if we tried. And I wouldn't trade either of them for all the money in the world. Even when they are taking turns waking us up at 3 a.m. for the eighth night in a row. It has been interesting trying to balance mommyhood and skating. Josh and I try to work our schedules so that one of us can always ben home with the twins, but its hard with me having lost so much training time between my mother passing away and us traveling to pick up the babies, and the start of the Grand Prix series is just a few weeks away! Luckily, Josh's mom is here with us for several weeks to help out. She be here with Josh and the babies when Drew and I head to Cup of China. Then Josh and I and the twins will all go to Lake Placid for Skate America, and of course my whole family is there, so we'll have plenty of help. We're not sure yet about Nationals and GPF (if Drew and I make it, of course), but we'll all go to Vancouver for the Olympics (again, as long as Drew and I actually make the team). Not sure about Worlds. I have to say, though, as excited as I am for this season, I'm also glad that it will my my last as a competitive skater. I'm looking forward to settling down and just having a normal life for a while! Well, now, it seems that someone is ready for a midnight feeding, and Josh was on duty last night, so I guess it is my turn to take care of that! Current Mood:  groggy |
| Thursday, September 10th, 2009 | |
| 11:00 pm | sad days ahead I'd like to thank everyone for all the thoughts and prayers. Words cannot express how much it means to know just how much everyone cares. I'd be lost without you all. It was determined that my mother died from a cerebral aneurysm. She might have survived if she hadn't been home alone, if she'd gotten treatment right away, but the damage was severe enough that if she had lived, she likely would have been severely impaired. Perhaps her passing was a blessing in disguise, though it is hard to believe that right now. She and I didn't have a perfect relationship, but I guess I wasn't necessarily the easiest person to get along with sometimes, either. But I'd give anything to have her here right now. Josh and I are bringing the babies home next week, and Mom was going to come stay with us for a few weeks to help out when Josh and/or I have to be at the rink. I'm sad that my children will never have the chance to meet her. The wake is scheduled for tomorrow, and the funeral for Saturday. It will be a long and tiring weekend, and I should probably get some rest, but sleep has eluded me since arriving here. I find myself pacing through the house at all hours of the night. I have no reason to believe that tonight will be any different. But, I will try. Josh, thank you, and I love you. It hasn't been easy, but having you by my side has made it bearable. I am nothing without you. Current Mood:  melancholyCurrent Music: Footprints in the Sand, Leona Lewis |
| Tuesday, September 8th, 2009 | |
| 12:08 am | You Just Never Know It is amazing how, in an instant, your entire life as you know it can change. One minute you're smiling and laughing and dreaming and planning, and the next you're brought to your knees, gasping for air, rendered speechless from shock, disbelief, mourning. And in that instant, you know that your life will never be the same. It happened to me last night. Josh and I had just returned home from a quick shopping trip to pick up the last few things we needed for the babies. We were in the kitchen, doing our best to throw together something edible from the leftovers in the fridge, when the phone rang. It was my sister Molly, and all I remember hearing is, "Mom's dead, Ella. She's gone." It all gets fuzzy from there. At some point travel plans were made, plane tickets bought, suitcases packed, and here we are at the airport, waiting for the next flight to Albany. There just are not any words to describe what I'm feeling now, perhaps because I feel nothing? Or too much? I really can't say. You just never know what's coming, do you? Current Mood:  numb |
| Friday, April 3rd, 2009 | |
| 8:03 pm | Belated Worlds Ramblings... Second place sucks. I know Drew and I shouldn't have been worried about winning Worlds, but still, to come in second by such a tiny margin just plain sucks. I can't say that either of us are unhappy with the way we skated, because I think we gave three really solid performances in LA. And honestly, I didn't even watch the Russians skate, so I don't know, maybe they really deserved to win, I just know that I hate losing. Luckily, Drew and I are also members of the Pavilion Drinking Team, so we did manage to win something last week. Regardless of the color of our medals, Drew and I had fun watching the rest of our Pavilion teammates in action all week long. It was great to see Annie and Kevin skate well and move up a spot from last year after having such a rough time at 4CC. I'm not sure what the judges were smoking when they put Rachel and Derek in 4th, but whatever. We all know them judges are whacked anyway. Pairs scared the crap out of me but thats okay, I'll get over it. Congrats to Li and Danny on a job well done, you both look great in gold ;). Kudos to Larisa for gutting it out through the LP, hope you get better really fast! Maddie's foot is a rockstar for making it through the week. I think all of our ladies skated really well, and I was sad to see both Hannah and Sammie so disappointed with their placements. At least Leah was happy. So, now Drew and I are heading off for some guest appearances with Stars on Ice. I'm pretty excited about that, except for the fact that Josh won't be tagging along :( . But, Elvis has been left home alone too much already, I think he needs Josh more than I do. Well, I suppose this post has gotten too long already (at least by my standards), so I'll end here. Hope everyone is enjoying some well-deserved time off right now! Current Mood: discontent |
| Thursday, March 26th, 2009 | |
| 9:19 pm | Almost there Well, here we are, sitting in second place after the OD. Not a bad place to be. Drew and I were a little nervous about Worlds, what with him being off the ice for so long with his back injury, but somehow we calmed right down as soon as we got on the ice for the first official practice of the competition. We had a great Paso the other day, but placed second to the Russian team. Our OD today was probably the best we've done all season, and we managed to narrow the gap between us and the Russians. Now if we can just hold it all together in the FD, I'll be happy, no matter where we place. Drew's back seems to be holding up well, and thats the most important thing. Congrats to everyone who has finished skating, and good luck to everyone who still has some skating to do! Have fun and enjoy the ride! Current Mood:  content |
| Wednesday, March 4th, 2009 | |
| 11:58 pm | [] [dude... where IS everybody?] Current Mood: lonely |
| Monday, February 9th, 2009 | |
| 9:26 pm | BLECH Have I ever mentioned that I hate Mondays? Well, I do. They are just icky and sucky and rotten, for no particular reason other than that they are Mondays. Or maybe I'm just feeling particularly grouchy today. Actually, I've been feeling a little blue for the last few weeks. Part of it is just being out of skating, I think. Drew and I wanted so badly to be able to skate at 4CC, even if we weren't in top physical condition, but there was just no way that he was going to get through three rounds of competition. He's on the ice, but every time we try to skate full programs with all the lifts, he ends up back in Pierre's office in total agony. I honestly don't know what we are going to do. Amanda has suggested that we drop the levels of our lifts to 1 or 2 instead of going for all level 4s, knowing that we'll lose a lot of points but just try to do them well enough to make up some of the difference in GOE. I'm trying to drop a few pounds to make it easier on Drew, but thats only going to help so much. Our other option is to scratch from Worlds, call the season a loss and focus on next year. Its a tough decision, and we're going to give it a few more weeks before we throw in the towel. Of course, there is always the possibility that US Figure Skating will throw in the towel for us, but we'd really like it to all be done on our terms. Its frustrating, though, to know that in reality, it is all out of my hands. I'd be lying if I said that was the only thing bothering me, but if we could just get through this injury I'd sure feel a lot better. Poor Josh, he must be a saint to have put up with me the last month or so. GrumpyElla is not a fun person to be around, but Josh weathers it all with a smile. I don't know how I ever got so lucky. Current Mood:  moody |
| Monday, January 12th, 2009 | |
| 10:37 pm | Adios, National title Well, it is official, Drew and I are out of Nationals for the first time in, gosh, I can't remember, 14 years or something like that. After a great start to our season, winning both of our GP events, we have been hit by a few unfortunate events. We had to withdraw from the GPF when I came down with a rotten stomach bug on the morning of the FD. And just a few days ago, Drew injured his back in practice and has been unable to skate at all. He is doing a lot of PT right now and he hopes to be back on the ice early next week, but it is doubtful that he would be competition-ready in time for Nationals, and so we have decided to pull out of the competition and petition for a spot on the World team. Obviously, this is not the kind of pre-olympic-year season that we wanted to have, but I suppose it is better to have our problems now rather than next fall. Anyway, good luck to all of you who are heading off to Nationals soon, I hope everyone has a great time and stays healthy! Current Mood:  disappointed |
| Wednesday, November 5th, 2008 | |
| 11:30 pm | Skate America... a little late So Skate America ended over a week ago. Apparently I forgot to update about it but thats okay. Drew and I won, which we were happy about, but we did not skate quite as well as we wanted. No major errors, just a few spots that got a little sloppy, but I think we have everything ironed out now. It felt good to start the season with a win, after the disaster that was our one and only GP event last season. And of course it is always fun to perform at Skate America. Drew and I are now in China for CoC, and boy am I jet lagged. It is late morning here, but all I want to do is crawl into bed! Other than that, we're having fun so far. China is a really cool place to visit. Drew and I are in charge of keeping Annie and Kevin out of trouble when we're not on the ice. HA HA HA, like those two are ever in any danger of getting into trouble. They are excited because this is their first competition without their parents, but Mama Lee is very nervous. I promised her I would keep an eye on them for her. In non-skatingrelated news, Josh and I had our homestudy, and somehow, it was determined that we are, in fact, worthy of adopting a child. We were sooooooooooooooooooo nervous, but the lady that came to our house was really nice. Now we have to pick out our baby. We're a little excited about that ;) Thats pretty much it in Ellaland right now. Drew and I and the Lee kids are off in search of some authentic Chinese food. Current Mood:  cheerful |
| Wednesday, October 1st, 2008 | |
| 8:49 pm | Who: Ella and Josh What: Getting their house ready for their homestudy with the adoption agency When: Wednesday evening Ella groaned as she dug through the junk in the hallway closet, trying to unearth the vaccuum. Someone from the adoption agency would be at the house at 10:30am the next day for the homestudy, and there was much cleaning that needed to be done. While the day's last rays of sunlight trickled through the tree branches, Josh washed the windows as quickly as he could. Ella had whirled through the living room with a dustcloth, then ran the vaccuum over the carpet, picking up assorted dog toys as she went and dropping them into a box as Elvis cowered under the kitchen table. Once she was satisfied with the condition of the carpet, she turned her attention to the coffee table, neatly stacking a few books and photo albums, then scooped up a pile of old magazines and tossed them into the recycling bin on the back porch. She smiled when she caught sight of the little swing set that she and Josh had bought last Saturday at a yard sale and had spent the afternoon re-assembling. It would be a while before they would even have a child, but they hadn't been able to resist when they saw the nearly-new swingset for sale for $20 at their neighbor's house. They had bought a greeen turtle-shaped sandbox and a little wading pool, too. Ella smiled as she imagined their child splashing in the pool, or squealing happily as Josh pushed her (or him, they hadn't officially decided yet on a boy or a girl, though Ella was definitely leaning towards adopting a little girl) on the swing. Then, with a sigh, she turned to go back inside and found herself face to face with Josh. Current Mood:  excited |
| Saturday, September 6th, 2008 | |
| 11:12 pm | I'm only a week behind... As I mentioned in my last update, Josh and I went back to Lake Placid for Labor Day weekend. All in all, it was not a bad weekend. Not fabulous, but compared to how things sometimes end up between my sisters and I, it wasn't bad. I visited with Grandma Bennett for a few hours, and that was pretty sad. She still does not understand why she was taken away from home, and for the most part, she didn't recognize me. There were fleeting moments where I think she knew who I was, but those were few and far between. Her overall heath is good, though, and it seems that she is being treated very well in the nursing home. We had a cook-out with my entire family on Sunday, and Josh and I told everyone about the adoption. My sister Molly kind of stole our moment, though. Once everyone had filled their plates and sat down, I announced that Josh and I had something that we wanted to tell everyone. Molly then opened her big mouth and said, "Oh my God, are you pregnant? Because I am, too!" I told her that no, I wasn't exactly pregnant, and then the whole family just went crazy over Molly and her 13-week-old fetus. I don't get what the big deal is, she and her husband already have two kids. It took about 10 minutes for all that to die down, at which point one of my other sisters, Caroline, looked at me and asked, "So, what's your big news?" I told them that Josh and I had decided to adopt a child, and it got really quiet for a minute. My dad seemed pretty excited, but my mom was just like, "Oh, that's nice." My sisters, of course, wanted to know why we were adopting instead of having our own, and those three Fertile Myrtles couldn't seem to grasp the concept that, unlike them, I apparently don't get knocked up at the mere mention of sex. They were blown away that we'd been trying for 19 months with no success, and they are now convinced that there is something wrong with me. Josh somehow got them away from that topic, and everyone started asking questions about the baby, which we didn't have any answers for yet. We have picked an agency, and now we have to do a "home study" sometime in the next month or two. Perhaps we should have waited until we pick out our child to make the announcement. A little later in the afternoon, I started asking my sisters about nursery furniture and such. I nearly shit myself when Caroline told me that she had spent nearly $8,000 on her youngest child's nursery set. The crib alone was over a grand! I was a little bummed to find that out because I actually really like the furniture in little Laila's room, but I really don't think that we have $8,000 to spend on a baby's room. Then Sophie mentioned something about a $180 high chair and a $400 stroller. Good Lord, I had no idea that baby stuff was so expensive! I hope that some day our child will forgive us for buying shopping at Target instead of some frou-frou high-end boutique. So now that the family visit is over, we turn our attention to the rapidly approaching competitive skating season. I'm actually extremely nervous about that. The thought of trying to maintain our spot as the top dance team in the world is causing me no small amount of stress. My stomach hurts just thinking about it. I know that Drew and I are well prepared, and that our new programs are good, but still I am uncharacteristically nervous. I just hope it gets better once we actually get our programs out there in front of the judges, because I don't think I can handle a whole season of nerves like these! I'm thinking that I need a Girls Day Out, with massages and manicures and fruity drinks with little umbrellas and such before we all go our separate ways for competition. Anyone who is interested should let me know what days are good, and I'll set something up. Well, now, it seems that Josh has just gotten out of the shower and it standing before me wearing nothing but a towel. I think I should go do something about that... Current Mood: good |
| Saturday, August 30th, 2008 | |
| 11:43 pm | |
| Friday, August 22nd, 2008 | |
| 11:29 pm | another victim of Olympics Overdose chimes in Holy crap, I don't think I've ever watched as much TV in my entire life as I have the last two weeks. Its been exciting, but the lack of sleep is not good for me. I look like an old hag now, without my beauty sleep. Lucky for me, Josh isn't scared away by big, black under-eye circles. Probably because he has been staying up just as late and has under-eye circles of his own. As much as I love the Olympics, I'm glad I can soon get back to my regular schedule. Somehow, though, I have managed to fit in a few other activities in between events. Amanda and Josh and Drew and I have put the finishing touches on both our OD and FD. We found a beautiful piece of music, "Un Ange Passe," for our FD, its not what I would call traditional ice dance music, but it is so gorgeous. Our costumes are nearly done, I think Drew and I have final fittings next week. I'm really pleased with how my FD dress has turned out so far. I've also been giving some dance lessons to Hannah. No, we dancers are not trying to steal her away to the dark side, her mom just thought that doing a bit of dance would help with her presentation. She's actually coming along very well, and I'd like to have her test the Dutch Waltz and maybe even the Canasta Tango sometime this fall, but I need someone to partner her. I asked Drew, of course, but he said no way, he doesn't do partnering for tests. Like it would be beneath him or something. Obviously he has forgotten that he once was a lowly Dutch Waltzer. Sometimes, though, it just is not worth arguing with him, I have to pick and choose my battles. But anyway, if any of you guys are interested in partnering with Hannah for a test or two, let me know. On the non-skating, non-Olympic side of life, Josh and I have been doing more research on adoption, and have picked an agency, and thats about it. There really is so much more to it that picking out a baby and plunking down some cash. I have no idea when we will actually have a child in our home, but I keep reminding myself that even if I were pregnant it would be nine months before we were actually able to hold the baby, so I shouldn't be so impatient about how long the adoption process takes. Patience has just never been one of my finer points. Josh and I will be flying back to NY for a few days over Labor Day weekend, since it will be my last chance to visit Crazt Grandma Bennett for a while, what with the GP season starting in just a few short months and all. I still feel guilty about not spending more time with her, but what can I do? If I blow off this season, I might as well kiss the Olympics goodbye, and I don't think that Grandma would want that. She always told me that she could see me standing on top of the podium with Olympic Gold around my neck, and I don't want to disappoint her. Even though now she wouldn't even know that it was me on the podium. And it wouldn't be fair to Drew, he's worked his whole life for this, and I can't ask him to put everything on hold for me. Of course there is also all the time and effort that Amanda and Josh have invested in our career. I can't let that go to waste, either. So I'll have to settle for visiting Grandma when I can and hope that there will still be time after the Olympic season to spend with her. While Josh and I are there, we plan to tell my family about the adoption. I know it doesn't have the same excitement factor as, "I'm pregnant," but I hope they'll be as excited as we are. And I hope that my sister will have forgotten about how I let her kids overdose on junkfood, television, and fun. I'm sure I'm in for a lot of lectures on the "right" way to raise a child. Lucky for me, I developed a case of selective deafness as a child, and it still pops up every now and then ;) Well, now, it seems that Elvis is suffering from Olympic-season neglect, so I better give him a good belly rub before I head off to bed. Maybe if Josh is good, he'll get a belly rub, too. Current Mood:  sleepy |
| Tuesday, August 5th, 2008 | |
| 11:13 pm | Well, I guess you've heard our big news, but I'll tell you again So, yeah, Josh and I have decided to adopt a child. How crazy is that? Go ahead and laugh, its okay, I've never pictured myself as the maternal type, either. Not that I don't like kids, because I do, or we wouldn't be adopting, but until recently, I've never had that "I need a baby NOW" kind of urge. Like Josh said, we've been playing the wait and see game, if there was meant to be a baby in our near future, then great, if not, then fine, we'd have one sooner or later. But I kind of thought it would happen sooner rather than later, you know? I think we all know at least one person who had a one night stand and wound up pregnant, right? And what about that one family that's on TV every now and then, the one where the mom is pregnant with her 18th kid? Getting pregnant is supposed to be easy. But it isn't. Josh and I have been married for 19 months now. Thats 19 months of more sex than any of you need to know about, 19 chances to get pregnant, and it didn't happen. I thought I was okay with that. But then, seeing Josh with my nieces and nephews... He was so good with them, and I wanted so badly to make him a daddy, even though we've both said from the beginning that we'd take things as they came. He is such a natural with the kids, and especially little Stella, he was wrapped around her little finger in about 3 mintues flat. I think we both came home hat weekend more ready than ever to start a family. Until a few mornings later, when I woke up to a slap in the face, that cruel monthly reminder that, once again, it just was not meant to be. At that point, I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that if there were ever going to be children, it would have to wait. The Olympic season is approaching faster than I want to think about, and at this point, getting pregnant really wouldn't work out becaus Drew and I absolutely want to be there in Vancouver. But then, like Josh said, we were watching some show on international adoption on PBS, and without saying a word, we both knew that was what we wanted to do. Why bring another child into the world when there are so many out there right now that need homes? Not everyone can afford to do that, but Josh and I can. We have a decent enough income, a big enough house, and more than enough love to give some child a far better life than they would otherwise have. Honestly, until that night I had never really given a thought to adoption, but since making our decision, I feel more content, more alive, more excited, than I have in a long time. We're still in the beginning phase of what is undoubtedly going to be a long process, but I'm okay with that. I know that, in the end, it will all be worth while, because we'll be making life a whole lot better for not one, not two, but three people. Everything happens for a reason, and Josh and I have found ours. So Small What you got if you ain't got love the kind that you just want to give away It's okay to open up go ahead and let the light shine through I know it's hard on a rainy day you want to shut the world out and just be left alone But don't run out on your faith 'Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand What you've been up there searching for forever is in your hands When you figure out love is all that matters after all It sure makes everything else seem so small It's so easy to get lost inside a problem that seems so big at the time it's like a river thats so wide it swallows you whole While you sit around thinking about what you can't change and worrying about all the wrong things time's flying by moving so fast you better make it count 'cause you can't get it back Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand What you've been up there searching for forever is in your hands When you figure out love is all that matters after all It sure makes everything else Seem so small Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand What you've been up there searching for forever is in your hands When you figure out love is all that matters after all It sure makes everything else Oh it sure makes everything else Seem so small Current Mood: contentCurrent Music: "So Small", Carrie Underwood |